Responding to rupture with grace
What is 'authentic resonance' in the face of unwanted circumstances?
This post features my latest recorded conversation with dear friends Daniel Garner and Aspasia Karageorge. These conversations began in September 2024 when Aspasia invited me to explore the concept of ‘authentic resonance’ with her. She subsequently continued the inquiry with Daniel and after that we began to meet as a trio.
Click here for the full playlist of our conversations
I can’t fight reality and “win.”
I certainly can put up a hopeless fight though, draining my energy as I go. Strangely enough, I can also convince myself that this is my best option.
But sometimes I manage to see the self-defeating spiral and step back. On my best days, I can even do this with humility and without self-condemnation.
I can notice the grace of this error, that it contains a valuable lesson - even though I don’t yet understand what it is and feel resistant to what it wants to teach me.
I can pause and become quiet, cultivating reverence for forces infinitely larger than myself which are shaping me in ways I can’t yet predict. Even when it feels miserable, I can nonetheless grow my faith that what is mysteriously unfolding through me will ultimately lead to a better tomorrow.
Such a perspective emerges from practicing what I call the ‘postures of love.’
Part of this practice is attuning to the reality that sometimes my strongest impulse in the face of truth is to turn away because I find it too painful to bear.
When I recognize this error without self-condemnation, I get the opportunity to clean my slate of unnecessary guilt and try, try again.
This is simple enough to describe, but at times feels nearly impossible to implement. I felt this impossibility when the deepest and most meaningful romantic relationship I have ever known ended a month ago, falling just short of a 10-year anniversary,
While still reeling from this blow, I had the good fortune to sit with two dear friends, Daniel Garner and Aspasia Karageorge, who helped me to turn the situation around and see it from many new angles, animated by the love of life and life-long learning.
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